The Fault In Our Stars

I've just finished reading The Fault In Our Stars, after purchasing it on Thursday, and it's fair to say I have never been more engrossed in anything. It really did make me feel a tonne of emotions: most of which were negative. It honestly made me start thinking about how much we take for granted, just the simplicities; the essentials, but we still all take it for granted - life. Yes, we all have lives, but are we actually living? Are you fullfilling everything you want? Probably not. Also, the very concept of meeting someone, falling in love, and that person being around for the rest of your life. But unfortunately, reality cannot meet with our dreams - our expectations. People will leave; people that mean a lot to you. This book in particular made me realise this, as the boy, Augustus Waters, (who Hazel Grace falls in love with) unfortunately dies from cancer after already surving it once beforehand. I know how it feels to realise someone is slipping away. Every day I wake up and think of how I would love to be able to increase the chance of Blake surviving, but cancer tends to not work like this. No. Instead, cancer thrives off both the sufferers pain and the loved ones pain - it becomes a part of all of you, infesting their body and ruining the person they once were, or as John Green writes, "Cancer just wants to live, too." However, it wants to live inside the person, and to do so it must destroy them.

It's probably fair to say we all wish no one had to suffer from the pain and misery cancer brings, but if it wasn't cancer doing it, it would be something else. I guess I've learnt you just have to accept it; not accept they have it, but accept it is a part of them. You must think of it as a minorty - the cancer isn't dominating of the person. 

I fail to see, too, how telling the sufferers the survival rates of their specific cancer helps. I mean, for example, Blake's cancer holds a survival rate of around 10% and even if you survive, the chances of it coming back and killing you within the next decade is profoundly high. Now, that does no good for anyone. Plus, with his chemo only starting to work after being medically enduced into a coma in order to be blasted with it along with pain killers, it brings even more stress and more worry to everyone's mind. Like, oh, the cancer is doubling at a fast rate? Well hell that must mean he's gonna be that 90% of the meaningful lives the bastard takes! What happened to hope. The doctor's rush staight into telling you the statistics and fail to mention the positives - filling your mind instead with 'this is the end'. 

But I know it isn't. I know that our plans to see each other in June will still go ahead, and I will do all I can for us to forget about the 'C' word which lingers in his body; clinging onto him. And I know he will be one of the 10% to survive this son-of-a-bitch. I just know. He's 17, almost 18, still has his entire life ahead of him and so many plans for his future. 

Blake, 

You will be ok, we both know you will. I cannot promise you this, I can only give you my word. However I can promise that no matter what, I will always be here for you - always. I told you from Day One I wouldn't leave your side and I intend to stick by this. Just wait til June, we will forget all about it and just enjoy the present; that moment as it stands.