Headfucked

I don't think any of us ever really know what to expect in life, but I do know I certainly didn't expect this... 

My 'friend', Blake, died of cancer April 8th 2014. I recieved a phone call from his mother on Thursday 10th to be told that unfortunately he had passed away as he never really fully recovered from the coma they put him in. This news, naturally, devastated me as I had just found out I hast lost one of my best friends - or so I thought...

After hearing from people how sorry they were to hear of Blake's death and the whole spiel of how 'everything will be ok', someone asked me; "how do you even know he is dead?" And of course, with it still being so raw and me being so angry that cancer had taken yet another precious life, I responded in a rather less than civil manner. However, it got me thinking... I was awake all night last night going over and over everything in my head, and it all added up. The lies, the excuses, everything - had I been catfished but by someone who was real? Maybe he wasn't really dead, but how would I ever find out?

After pondering this all night, I decided that all I could do was make a fake account; pretend to be someone else in the hopes I could string him along. So I did. I made a fake account, used a rather beautiful girl as my profile picture (which of course I feel awful for using someone elses pictures) and messaged him. Of course I was hoping nothing would happen as this was the boy I had been grieving for, but sure enough, when I awoke there was a reply. Being completely shocked and stunned, and rather confused, I decided that now I would have to keep it up. We were talking, and are talking now and plan to skype tomorrow - I want him to feel as let down and hurt as I did when I found that someone, a very good friend, had said possibly one of the sickest things I've ever heard. He also lied about his age, he told me he was 17, yet told 'me' he's 18. I know that seems rather small, but when you have gotten this close to someone and planned so much together, it hurts more than you would think. I mean, he lied about having cancer, and then dying, when he knows that I myself as well as many people have lost family members or friends to the sickening disease. 

I feel so sick; so confused; hurt but most of all, angry. Angry that he would want to hurt me after everything I did for him. I tried so hard to make him happy when I thought he was dying. I will skype him tomorrow, and I cannot wait to see his reaction when he sees me sat there - he will have no alternative ultimatum but to give me the answers I so righteously deserve. 

I suppose that's the beauty of the internet, or rather the uglyness of it. You can be whoever you want to be. You can lead whatever life, be whatever age, anything - you can lie about anything.